"No matter how much you want to dye your hair blonde and put fake eyes in, or follow an anorexic standard of beauty, or no matter how many diamonds you buy from people who exploit your own brutally to get them, no matter what kind of car you drive or what kind of fancy clothes you put on, you will never be them. They're always gonna look at you as nothing but a little monkey. I'd rather be proud of what I am, rather than desperately trying to be something I'm really not, just to fit in. And whether we want to accept it or not, that's what this culture or lack of culture is feeding us." - Immortal Technique.

They say the truth hurts. You'd have to be a fool to let the truth hurt you. Truth shouldn't be judged with emotion. The truth is what is. It's impossible to change the truth. The truth should be accepted regardless of what emotion you may feel towards it. The truth can be hardest thing you may ever want to accept but accept it you must.

But the truth is, there is no truth.

Why I don't like writing is because someone else has said it, but in a better way and with a backing track. Words are better in songs.

♪ Best Of Times

Sacrifice

What are you really willing to give up? Are you willing to give up everything? Everything you own? Everything that makes you happy? Everything you could ever want? Are you willing to give up all for only peace of mind? Are you willing to give up everything unselfishly, without regrets, without a second thought, without question? Would you give it all up for someone else?

If you snoop around long enough for something in particular you're guarateed to find it, for better or worse that's how I learned it's best to just keep some things private.

"The one that I'm with thinks sex is a beautiful thing
She thinks I'm something special
She's my specialist
More beautiful than sex
Cause only something like sex
Makes something so lovely turn ugly and fuck up shit"

Effeciency

It's all about being effecient, and I always try especially if I'm heading there. I even try to place my feet in specific efficient locations when I walk. Perhaps I'm just nuts?

My Problem..

I'm not sure why I made this blog. I find it incredibly difficult to put into words what I think. The amount of times I've been sat here stuck on how to write anything. But I guess if practice makes perfect then I should try none the less. I don't seen to talk much in public, and when I do it's never about me. Although me talking less allows me to listen more, I don't learn anything from me talking but I do when others are. I think you should all shut up and listen.

The "uncomfortable silence" - I don't see how people find silence so uncomfortable. Is everyone so engrossed in the noises of the world that silence is disturbing? Only 30% of communication is through speech so why do people feel it's nescessary to fill silence especially if the subject of conversation is of no interest? Silence is better than small talk. No I don't care about the weather nor what you did five seconds ago when my precious time could be used for something constructive. With all your blah blah.

"Don't speak another sentence to me, ever mention me.
I don't exist, convince yourself you invented me"

That took me way to long to write..

Bahh

I feel so shitty right now, so unmotivated, no aims no nothing. It's hard finding an excuse to wake up anymore. I'm losing sleep too. A lot of it. I find myself awake til the early hours of the morning. I'm getting sick of it all. There's nothing that seems to brighten up my days anymore and I don't know what to do..

Time for a refit, a rejiggle.

Starting a fresh. Sparkly new.

What is wrong with people? Or what is right? Everyday my faith in humanity seems to do me wrong. People are liars, cheats, inconsiderate, nosey and just rude. The more I seem to be around them the less I like them. Of course, there are exceptions - like five of them. It feels I have to start putting plans to action.